Valentine Evenings, or perhaps, It's only Forever,
by Mai Lin
Summary: A oneshot spoof thingy of every Labyrinth cliche in about page. Hopefully funny if you're wanting a quick read. Please RR


Ok, it is 2:00 am on Monday July 10th. It was an off day. I have so many labyrinth ideas, but, as you know (becuase I'm about to tell you) I never finish anything. So heres a stupid little oneshot I'm writing becuase I'm sick of fangirls.

Once upon a time there was girl named Sarah (which means Princess). She was smart and misunderstood and beautiful. five years ago Sarah had defeated the magical Labyrinth and it's hot king. Since then, her life hadn't really changed. She had become the most popular girl in school, the star of a local theater group, a published author, best friends with her six year old brother, Toby (who was a super genius and even though he was six had some sort of social super power energy where he could sense his sisters feelings and remember being in the labyrinth when he was a year old), and constantly in ninja combat with her wicked stepmother who is somehow named Karen even though nobody ever said that anywhere else.

But, as could be expected when looking at her wonderful and fufilling life, Sarah was unhappy and depressed and in love with the Goblin king even though she was an idiot and kept telling herself that he had stolen Toby even though she asked him too and she was constantly cursing herself for thinking about him and so she had a self-induced brain fart and forgot all about him. Life went on like this until the night of her twenty first birthday. On this night, she proceded to go out and get drunk with her bubbly and nosy roomate. Sarah soon got depressed and even though she was too drunk to stand, left the club early while her roomate stayed behind to make out with one of her boytoys on a sofa that was placed coincidently in the middle of the bar.

Once home, Sarah sat down in a drunken daze on her sofa and started remembering memories she had not remembered about how the Goblin King was hot in a creepy way and how she would never be happy until she said "I wish the Goblin King would come and take me away right now". Realising this, she went on to say outloud : "I wish the Goblin King would come and take me away right now". The Goblin King then appeared and picked her up just as she passed out. He then proceded to think naughty thoughts about making her fall in love with him. Then he dissapeared in a puff of glitter.

The next morning Sarah woke up in a luxurious bedroom with a large window and an attached bathroom (which strangely included indoor plumbing and all of the modern tools needed to blow-dry your hair and in some cases the furniture and toilet talked to her.) Sarah was shocked and kept looking around, waiting for the small, badly dressed female goblin maid named something like Poppy or Ruterca or Pac to come in with her tea, even though no female goblins had been seen her first time in the Labyrinth. Finally, the small, badly dressed female goblin maid named something like Poppy or Ruterca or Pac came in, and they became best friends, with her tea and told her all about how the king had been depressed since she had left and wasn't really all that bad and that she was expected to get dressed in a silky evergreen dress with a plunging neckline and meet him at dinner at 7:00.

At 7:00 sharp or else, Sarah arrived at the dining hall to find Jareth all dressed up and drinking wine. Suddenly, Sarah remembered that she was angry that he had taken her away and started to yell at him about how he stole Toby. A week later, after a long walk in the Castle's beautiful gardens and meeting her friends there, Sarah fell in love with Jareth and this went on to lead to an awkward kiss which set the stage for the passionate and yucky kiss that was to follow soon after.

All was not well however becuase in the Dark Doomed Danger Dark Kingdom, Jareth's evil brother and/or half brother, named something like Haddan or Petrox or Gedden or at least something ending in den decided that he was going to steal Jareth's kingdom by kidnapping and/or making Sarah fall in love with him. He then kidnapped Sarah and Jareth went on to track him down and have a big showdown with him and defeat him and rescue Sarah.

They then went back to the castle where Jareth was in trouble with the Fae Council who consisted of a bunch of snotty royals who for some reason, Jareth allowed them to kick him around. They decide that Sarah must be married to Jareth in like, 30 days or else something something something. He teaches her to be proper and theres a bunch of fluff and mushy crud and then they get married and Sarah is immortal and that's it.

ZE AINDE


End file.
